Oh Dear, Just What Is An InterContinuum Photographic Chroniclelizer?

WP-CameraMany Readers have been asking  just what is the “InterContinuum Photographic Chroniclelizer” that I mentioned in my last discussion and why did I neglect to include any interesting bits of information on it? My sincerest apologies! In order to avoid any perturbation as a direct result of unresolved curiosity, I suggest that you refer to the brief explanation of the instrument on pages 61 and 62 in A Visitor’s Guide to Time Travel.  I have also included an image of my own Chroniclelizer to study.

In the unfortunate event that you have left your copy of this invaluable book on a train (along with your umbrella) or somehow otherwise have annoyingly misplaced it, I will repeat the description contained in its pages below.

InterContinuum Photographic Chroniclelizer

“Highly recommended equipment for all temporalnauts, this state-of-the-art camera
provides the means to bring back to the present both the mundane as well as
extraordinary moments in time.

Images captured with this device remain trapped outside of the time-continuum
and inside the patented AntiChronology Protection Chamber.

There, they remain independent and safely captured
within the Event-Duration film.

Through its exclusive Green Screen Technology, the Chroniclelizer
offers the time traveler unsurpassed ease in adjusting the voyage
predictability factors while on the road too!”

I trust that this helps put an end to any befuddlement. And now I must return to my work in the library and transcribe into a notebook the recipes that will recreate those wonderful gougères that I saw during my trip to the summer of 1816. But more on that later…

Since You Asked…

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In response to recent queries about how all of this staggeringly incredible time travel is possible, I reached for my copy of the book entitled A Visitor’s Guide to Time Travel and found a sensible explanation of it all in the chapter called “Time Travel and Parallel Universes Explained for Curious Individuals”.

According to this most definitive book, we live in an infinite assortment of wiggly-squigiggly multiverses that exist all at once. “Parallel” doesn’t even come into the equation and is merely a myth that arose from those who can only think along the same lines.

The multiverses are mostly made of Infinity and stretch outwards, inwards, forwards and backwards. To further muddle matters, everything exists all at once everywhere and every-when. Once set in motion, every fragment of reality never ceases to exist, they just are and they even look forward to your visits!

Time travel between multiverses isn’t liner but more like doing the hokey pokey. It requires one to put the right foot in, then take the left foot out (that is the particularly tricky part that requires a lot of practice) and then you shake it all about. You turn yourself around and, well…that’s what it’s all about.

Oh, and you have to be holding an InterContinuum Photographic Chroniclelizer that has first been switched on (otherwise you are simply performing some light calisthenics). With such, you don’t really travel to but rather snuggly blend into the alternate world of your choosing.

You must repeat the whole thing over again when you want to go home. I strongly urge the time traveler to find a private area to perform what is required to return to one’s own actuality in order to avoid the perplexed gazes from people or small animals nearby.

All of those brilliant minds trying to reconcile the mathematical inconsistencies that currently exist between quantum mechanics and the theory of relativity could definitively sort everything out with a just couple of dance lessons.

And now back to a more monumentally important subject…cheese.

Hmmm…Why Not?

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Oh… just why not! I decided to set aside my library search for a quick trip back to New York City, December 31, 1906! Very foggy, but no matter. My spirits were raised as high as the glass of my Manhattan. Things got pretty noisy at midnight and the din of horns, cowbells and fireworks kept up for nearly ten minutes!

Such a grand and boisterous time was had by all, I am tempted to go back again tonight to join in the fun once more…

Wishing you a New Year filled with Wonder!